Simply Vicki

And I don’t mean in a scaredy cat kind of way.  Yesterday, my almost-six-year-old was in the basement.  I was in my room, across the hall from a sleeping two-year-old, aka as the sweet pea that will turn into a terror if she doesn’t get or is interrupted in her napping.

Miss J was at the bottom of the steps shouting, “Mommy!”

She gets musical, “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” she sings.

*I* am in the room trying to hurry up with what I was doing because, by no means, was I going to shout at her and wake the baby.  Mental note- Discuss with kids how shouting for someone across the house is bad manners.  Mental note- Stop shouting for kids/hubby across the house.

Since I wasn’t answering to my name in English, apparently she decided to use another language.  And suddenly I hear “Bwock, bwock, bwock!” coming from the basement.

Apparently, when someone doesn’t answer you in English, the next logical language to use is Chickenese.

What is the point of parenting? After a certain point, they can pretty much survive on their own anyways. give them the basics- food, water and a potty, and they are good to go. They can survive, but the point of parenting is for them to thrive.

Our every action, word and feeling is poured into our children. We shape their worlds, their lives, whether we mean to or not. Our successes, our mistakes, our children carry these with them for the rest of their lives. Just like we are the legacy of our parents, our children are ours.

Through my relatively short years as a parent, I’ve made mistakes. I’ve tried different “techniques” that really didn’t pan out. I like to think that the fact I recognized that they were mistakes means something. I like to think that being honest with my children and openly admitting my mistakes means something.

I say, “I’d like to think,” because it really comes down to how each child processes the situation. A single mistake, whether intentional or accidental, can scar a child for life. We can do all the good in the world and completely miss the point.

What’s the point?

Relationship is the point. I can spend my days doing bake sales, cheering at t-ball games or taking field trips to the zoo, but if my child grows up without me knowing her, I’ve failed. If my child grows up with a Mommy-sized hole she tries to fill with sex, drugs, alcohol, food or any other addiction, I’ve failed. If she grows up feeling alone or unloved, I’ve failed.

It is unbelievably overwhelming, this parenting thing. I have a life in my hands. I am shaping this life, whether I want to or not. Whether I am aware or not. Whether I am prepared or not. Overwhelming? Like a row boat caught in a hurricane.

I am not perfect, nor will I ever be and I know that. I am undeniably human. I make mistakes daily. I lose my patience daily.

Right before I lose my mind thinking about all this, my faith kicks in. I remember I serve a God who knows what a fragile piece of work I am. I remember that I am perfect in His eyes. He knows I fall daily, and, get this, He doesn’t care! He loves me anyways. Unconditional they call it. I call it fabulously comforting and inspiring.

It is comforting to know that no matter how many times or how big I fail, He loves me. He wants the best for me and He’s willing to guide me if I will just get out of my own way. It is inspiring because this love makes me want to be a better person, a better parent, a better wife, a better me.

How does this apply to my parenting and the point of parenting?

My children know there is a God. Oftentimes, their faith is greater than my own. They know that He loves them, no matter what. They know that no one will ever love them the way God does because it is not possible. They know that no matter what they go through, He’s right there. They have that comfort, that peace.

As they grow, my children will see me make mistakes, but my children will also see me apologize and ask for forgiveness. They will see me try and try again. They will see me in all my humanness. I pray they will also see me reach out to them. To love them in the way that speaks to their precious hearts. I pray that they know that even though I can’t love them the way God does, I am still loving them with my whole heart.

Oh, you remember that? Yes, I did tell you that I entered 60 giveaways in that giveaway thingy. And, yes, I did tell you that I found a bunch of new blogs and neat sites. And, yep, I said I was gonna be nice and share them with you all. You are right. Now, that’s over. Let’s move on.

The first Bloggy Giveaway Find is Sarah + Abraham. This Etsy shop has the CUTEST stationary. I love the simplicity of most of the designs. Here is my favorite design:

Like I said, I love the simplicity of these printed cards. Beautiful colors. The owner of the store also has a blog titled the same. Be sure to visit the Sarah + Abraham blog! She gave away a set of 24 note cards and matching lables for the last giveaway, wouldn’t you like to win some? I would.

One of my favorite things to watch in the Olympics is the balance beam routines of gymnastics. The flips, the jumps, the handstands. All on a piece of wood that is four inches wide. Amazing, especially when you consider that many people would have enough trouble WALKING on something that narrow, much less running, jumping, rolling…well, you get the picture.

When a gymnast first starts out, they don’t immediately start with the complex moves we see on television. They simply start walking, practicing their balance, taking note of how their body needs to be positioned. Depending on the age, a gymnast may simply start walking a line drawn on the floor. A gymnast needs to feel comfortable on that piece of wood, like walking on it is like walking anywhere.

We could learn a lot about balance from gymnasts. And not simply in the physical sense. Oftentimes in life, we try to jump into the front flips without even stretching. We Moms are especially prone to this. With all the pressures of life telling us we have to do this, do that, be perfect, if we are not careful, we will find ourselves quickly on overload.

Already on overload?

First, let me remind you that nothing should come before your family. If a job or home business is taking more time away from your family than you are comfortable with, make a change. Layout a plan to enable you to be home with your kids, cut corners and/or start that home business you’ve had on your mind. Already have a home business? Cut back on the time you are spending by looking for ways to limit your time doing the tedious things. Only answer your email at set times. Outsource the things you can by hiring a virtual assistant or enlisting your kids to work with you.

Start your day with a list. These can be on paper or on the computer for the eco-conscious. Type five things you need to accomplish in your business by the day’s end. Be realistic, do not include “make X amount of dollars” on your list. Instead, include concrete things like listing five items on eBay, create a Craigslist ad or write one article. The important thing is to stay pro-active.

Be sure to map out your family’s needs, too. Make a separate list for the things that you NEED to get done for the day. And, no, “clean house top to bottom” should not make an appearance on your list. Keep it simple. Wash the towels, sweep the tile floors or wash the windows and mirrors - these are reasonable goals.

*Side note: this is not to say that your house will never need cleaning top to bottom. On these days, you need to be able to focus solely on that. Make time in your schedule that includes NOTHING to do with your work or business. Trust me, sometimes stepping away is all you need to do to make things feel less overwhelming. End side note.*

Perhaps that is the greatest advice I can offer. Keep it simple. Stretch a little. Start with one eBay listing or creating a list of possible article topics. Include things that you can build on tomorrow or next week. If you wrote your one article with ease, challenge yourself to flesh out two tomorrow.

Remember, perfection is not the goal. It is guaranteed you will make mistakes, learn from them and move on. If something works, do it again. If it doesn’t, don’t. You’re never going to win a gold medal, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve one.

As a part of the Smart Moms Smart Business contest, we chose to put on a carnival. The point of a blog carnival is to provide a common theme for bloggers to write about.  They then send the links to the host/hostess who creates a central post that includes the links to all the participating bloggers.  Some carnivals are huge and will use something called a Mr. Linky for the links.  Some, like this one, are smaller and the links are included in the body of a post.

No matter the size, the goal is the same - to provide readers with the opportunity to read differing opinions, ideas or tips on the theme and possibly find some new favorite blogs.

Our carnival this time includes three submissions.

The first is from the leader of the Smart Moms Smart Business forum, Rebekah.  She has a lovely blog called The Day of a Mom.  Rebekah reflects on what balance means to her and gives some valuable advice for finding, keeping or maintaining balance in your life.  Be sure to read her post here.

Judy Wright, affectionately known as Auntie Artichoke, tells us about the importance of confidence in finding our balance in life.  In her post, she relates a “real life” story that she relates well to our topic.

And finally, we have little ol’ me.  As for my post on balance, you will have to wait until tomorrow.  I am writing this with a headache unlike any I’ve had in a very long time.  I will update this post to add in the link for my post, but it will be here on this blog, more than likely…I mean, I could go hijack someone else’s, but I don’t think that would go over well.

When I first started this blog WAY back in March, I did some fun quizzes. I stumbled upon them again and decided to do them again, you know to measure how far I have come.

60

Not too bad, I scored a 52 the last time.

The color test:

41

69

Ok, now I’m off to memorize the list of colors and countries…just kidding. Well, mostly. If you play along, drop the link in the comments. You can click on the banner telling you how awesome I did to go to the quiz.

Or emailed.  Really.  I entered sixty giveaways and do you think anyone had the niceness to reward me for wasting taking my time to be greedy thoughtful and comment on their blogs?

Not one.

I mean, really.  I was ONLY one of 100 or in some cases 500 that entered, no one else really wanted to win, right?

Sigh.

P.S.  Please read the above in the sarcastic humor it was meant.  I am not that self-centered.  Just letting you all know that I didn’t win anything so you don’t feel so alone.

I know you all love giveaways, so here is another chance to win a $25 Visa Gift Card.  If you are a work at home mom or wanna be, that is.  My favorite forum is the Smart Moms Smart Business forum.  I am a moderator there and love the friends that I have made there.

If you join, check out the End of Summer contest that Rebekah is sponsoring.  There is a growing list of prizes in addition to the $25 Visa Gift Card.  Including a $10 gift certificate to Affordable Mineral Makeup (TM) sponsored by me.

You can read more about the contest at Rebekah’s blog.

Drumroll, please.  The winner in my recent giveaway (Come One, Come All) is…

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

20

Timestamp: 2008-08-04 19:09:14 UTC

Congratulations, Karissa!  I just sent you an email.

If for some reason, I do not hear back from Karissa by Wednesday, I will return to the handy-dandy Random.org and pull another number from my magic hat.

It recently came to my attention that I had not updated you all on my Journey to Loserville in quite a while. I guess you could say I’ve been at a rest stop for a while now. I think I could use a little challenge to kick my butt in gear pick me up. More on that at the end.

So, how has it been going? Not good really. I was really discouraged by my recent foray in the world of all things curvy. It’s really disheartening to work hard at something and not only find I hadn’t made any progress, but, in fact, I took a step (or 2.25) back. No matter.

Well, in the past six weeks I really struggled with my sweet tooth. I made chocolate chip cookies WAY too often. I had ice cream. I even had a few candy bars. It was a rough patch, peeps. Rough. Not rough in the “oh, darn” way, rough in the “why can’t I get it right?” kind of way.

You know, when your sweet tooth is screaming “Feed Me!” and your mind is saying “Oooh, cookies sound GOOD!” And then, you eat it and while your eating it, it’s all rainbows, lollipops and rainbows and cute kittens. All is right with the world, cause cookies are GOOD.

And then you finish the cookie(s).

And BOOM.

Suddenly it’s all “I should not have eaten that.” And things are no longer rainbows and all things good. It’s more like a tornado that takes out your ego, self-esteem and your mood in one fell swoop. And once you move past what you did, then it’s, “I should know better. I DO know better. I CAN do better. I WILL do better.”

And you do do better, until the next time the eggs, flour and sugar say, “Hey! Put us in a bowl and let us have a party with the butter and vanilla. And don’t forget Chocolate Chips, he’s the life of the party, ain’t no party without him. Don’t worry, his parents will be home.”

Yeah, that kind of rough.

Finally, this past week I started taking some herbs to cleanse my lymph system. In this mix is some herbs that, well, let’s just say they move things along that we can’t really talk about here. Funny thing, I started feeling better and I only made cookies once this past week AND most of the dough is still in the fridge, just chillin’.

Maybe it’s the time of year, I seem to get the desire to go walking when it the most HOT in this lovely, muggy as crap area, but I am going to challenge myself to walk this week. And since I now actually have people reading the blog and they seem to actually like me, for which I love them, I will be sure to keep this challenge. Because there is really no motivation like good ol’ embarrassment.

Really, try it sometime.

Tell someone, nay, LOTS of someones something you want to do. And then, the first time someone asks, “How’s it going?” You will be EXTREMELY motivated to not have to tell them that it’s not again. Really, it works.

So, whether I lose weight or not, there are changes I need to make to my diet and my life. My body needs more movement and stretching, oh my, does it need stretching. I’d tell you how I figured that out, but I would have to never see or speak to you again because, well, there is no getting over THAT kind of embarrassment.

So, my lovelies, that is what’s been up with my Journey to Loserville. Can anyone relate? Please?